I’m being stalked.
There are people out there that have a nefarious idea in their minds, and it involves me. From what I can gather, they are trying to get cash out of me. Who are these miscreants? There’s a band of them on Twitter, and they’re after me. The one that started it all is @frizzle_fry. She would always know exactly where I was, and would taunt me with it. Fortunately, she’s in another state so I never got too worried. Then she started recruiting.
Before too long, she had @franklin5 after me too. This was a bit more concerning, as @franklin5 is in Dallas, which is where I’m currently hiding. I have even met Mrs. F5 in person, which makes this all the more concerning. I think that it was actually the new recruit that suggested trying to profit from the stalking. This makes me wonder what exactly @frizzle_fry had in mind when she started the stalking. Shortly after the two ladies teamed up, they got even more help. Next thing I knew, @lizwebpage was on the stalking bandwagon. Being Liz, she immediately started telling all of her friends, and even trying to recruit more people. Also, around this time, they decided to make the stalking progress easier by using hashtags. Not one, not two, but three. It was rather scary, they were starting to get organized. They even moved the stalking beyond Twitter, and started commenting on what I was doing on Facebook too. They were all over the place. Everywhere I went, they were right there behind me.
I’m currently hiding in an undisclosed location, hoping to stay safe. There appear to have also started stalking my pal @thronkus, and even a mention of Johnny Depp. I don’t know how long these distractions will last, though. They seem to be watching me at all times. Wish me luck, my friends, for I don’t know how long it’ll be before they find me.